Sensory Overload

I shouldn’t have to be scared of letting people know about me, but that was not what was going on in my head as I deleted this very poem yesterday out of fear that came from nowhere. Today, I found courage in myself to upload this again.

one person, then a group
one voice, then a cacophony
one blade, then a block of knives

to stab me, 
one beat,
one laughter,
one scream at a time

I run from the noise
like a tortoise running from a hare
into a corner where there is no border,
where the noise only grows louder 
and the pain only gets harsher

until I don’t know where I am anymore
I’m sinking but I can’t see the bottom,
I‘m drowning but I can’t feel the water,

the distorted orchestra continues its concert
and each musician rises from his or her seat
and turns into a grenade
the music stops

then bang

I’m back in my chair,
arms wrapped around my head
and tears running down my face

but I don’t know why.